because i have a problem - { love island AU post }

[go_north]

 

🎵love island theme🎵









🎵make you mine🎵








🎵came here for love🎵

 

 

Comments

{ 1 - get your snog on }

[go_north]

[ Today's challenge was called Shiver My Timbers. The rules? Each contestant had to strip out of the swashbuckling pirate outfits that looked like relatively cheap Halloween costumes, down to the Jolly Roger-decorated speedos provided for the men, bikinis for the women, before strutting their stuff across the nautical-themed obstacle course of various tasks. Including raising a flag up the mast, "dropping the anchor" by wrapping the fake chain suggestively around their scantily clad bodies and going down a water slide, before following a little path to where “x” marks the spot – their partner buried in sand up to their chin. Dig them out, pull them up, and end the whole thing with a kiss. The one who completed the challenge the fastest (and the sexiest) would be the winner. #allhandsondeck #swiggityswootyI’mcomingforthatpiratebooty

…This show is all a bit too much sometimes.

Zoro thought so, anyway, and felt a little foolish from his position in the ridiculously oversized sandbox. (Which, why?? There are actual beaches everywhere!) But he preferred lying there when the other option was the show Sanji had to put on. It was a relief enough to not be forced into those speedos. Now, though, hours after the game’s end, he isn’t thinking about the silly outfits or the grains of sand he isn’t sure he’s managed to completely wash off.

He’s thinking about the kiss.

Unsurprising, with it being the first they’ve shared, despite being coupled up for more than half of week one. Others have moved much faster, but Zoro’s had to work on figuring Sanji out. He has to admit a part of him was waiting for the other man to make a move on the girls in more tentative or so far unromantic couples, and he’s still waiting, really – new pretty faces with perfect, perky bodies will come in any day now. So maybe it was the fire of competition that had the cook licking into his mouth, biting his bottom lip…or – ]

Something’s there. [ He tells the confessional camera, brief but honest alone in the beach hut. ] It was good.

[ No point in pretending any different. It was good, and it wasn’t one-sided. He matched the zeal that came for his lips in a way that had the on-looking islanders cheering and cat-calling for them both, though the sound was distant and hazy when he was so focused on giving as good as he got, feeling wet hair tangling around his fingers when he reached for him without a thought.

He doesn’t know how long he can go without doing it again.

But he doesn’t know if he’s allowed, outside of the challenge, where it was required.

And he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing, coupled up with this straight man. Before today, he could’ve said there wasn’t much point. Now…

Well, now his head is buzzing far too much as he leaves the hut, and he’s definitely going to need a drink before bed. ]

[jambe]

[ This show is definitely a bit much, sometimes.

Still, he's the one that signed up for it— the swimsuits, the crazy challenges, the televised embarrassment. It'd all been an easier pill to swallow before the recording started, back in the idyllic stages of his life when he thought he'd be spending his days and nights on the villa with any of the gorgeous women that showed up as contestants on the show.

Sadly (?), life is never that simple. Of all the things that could happen to him, it had to be a surprise coupling with, you guessed it, a guy: one of those unmistakeable meathead types, the kind of guys Sanji used to wrinkle his nose at and scroll past on Instagram. What's so great about these fitness bros who unironically use the term 'rise and grind', anyway?

(Famous last words.)

Turns out, Zoro is actually kind of great. The personality is a given (as much as Sanji bites and barks at the guy whenever the opportunity presents itself), and the body... well. Let's just say that Sanji is less straight than he thought he was, bless his heart. But what really puts everything into more clarity, the final piece of the so-called puzzle, is the kiss: the one that only should've been a brief peck, but turned into a full-blown, instantly gif-able makeout that lasted far too long to be practical.

Sanji is still thinking about it.

The muscle memory of Zoro's fingers in his hair, of kneeling in sand and riding up along the length of his partner's chest. Of skin on skin, and how his shitty speedo was the only thin layer between him and the guy he was kissing; of Zoro's breath and the way he angled his jaw to welcome their first sliver of intimate contact.

(The camera catches Sanji on a beach chair later, head in his hands, rolling from side to side on the mesh like a giant caterpillar. All the mic manages to catch is a muffled stupid shithead, fucking asshole, he's so—)

It's hours later, and still— it's the scent of Zoro's cologne that snaps him back into the land of the living. Lingering outside the hut, arms folded and head swimming, he swivels his one visible eye to his partner's sudden appearance.

He doesn't mean to look as sheepish as he does. At the end of the day, Sanji is as obvious as they come. ]

...Yo. [ As casual as he can manage. He tries not to stare at the seam of Zoro's mouth. ] Looking to get lost again?

[go_north]

[ Zoro’s head turns at the sound of the voice he least – and somehow, also, most – wants to hear at this moment. It's admittedly just as difficult to look at the other’s one exposed eye (although it’s the sort of blue he could fall into, a blue like the perfect, seemingly endless sea that surrounds this island) instead of his lips. ]

…Yo. [ Casual, yes, right back at him. Or is it awkward as hell? Hard to tell. Let the viewers decide. Either way, he is not ready for this.

Except he is ready, isn’t he? Or he should be. Because this is why he’s here, to feel these things, the excitement under his skin, the pull, the attraction – none of which are completely foreign to him. But the nerves are new and he isn’t a fan. He’s always been certain, shaped by confidence, but Sanji just leaves him guessing. Grasping at signs he thinks he finds, only to let them go a moment after. The man makes breakfast for all the women before their respective partners are even awake, for fuck’s sake. And all he gets are dickhead comments. ]

Ha. [ Dry, flat, without amusement because it isn’t funny. The villa is big and it’s confusing, don’t come at him! (Sorry, Zoro. #lostboy. Your lack of any directional sense became a meme on the first night.)

Right now, at least, he knows exactly where he’s going. Headfirst into this unknown. ]

I’m getting a beer. Is that too common for your refined taste? [ Yes, that is an invitation to join. ]

[jambe]

[ It'll be fun, they said. A nice bit of promotion for the restaurant! Think of all the press Baratie will get after you show up on reality television! The old man needs a bit of publicity, every now and then!

All at Sanji's expense. Or so he'd like to say, if the sudden rush of his pulse didn't drown out most of the protests that are on the tip of his tongue. ]

—At least make it wine. [ That's a 'yes' to the invitation, by the way. Being drunk around Zoro simultaneously sounds like a great and terrible idea, but his heart is looking for any excuse to linger around the guy. To figure him out, because no one can be as straightforward as Zoro is without an agenda, right?

...Right?

He waits for just a moment, for Zoro to make the first move, but when he spots his partner heading in the completely opposite direction— ] ...Oi, dumbass. [ —He grabs his forearm. Tugs, and pulls him where he needs to go. (Towards himself, if Sanji is being honest.) ] Do I need to hold your hand, or what? [ That sounds way less patronizing than he intended. Shit. ]

[go_north]

[ The gym is absolutely exploding with new members now, numbers at a high that rivals the annual rush after New Year’s resolutions; not that Zoro knows, or would care all that much. He’s here to see what happens. On Love Island without any real idea of what love is actually like, knowing he’s never felt it, but he would never have entered this villa if he wasn’t open to it.

The question is. Is he open to it…with Sanji, or should he put his energy elsewhere?

It’s a question he can’t answer until he knows where the man’s head is, and as the end of week one draws nearer and nearer, it’s time to say fuck it, and really try to work that out.

Even if it means drinking wine. He concedes to the request, albeit with a roll of his eyes. ]

Wine, then. Fussy. [ Good luck getting drunk on it, though. Zoro, at least, would definitely need more than one bottle. The fact that there’s no supply of hard liquor readily available for them is kind of tragic. Especially if they were meant to be pirates today – where is the rum?!

(Of course with a villa this complicated, drunk Zoro would probably wind up lost on the roof. Or walking into the pool. He can’t even tell which direction he’s going in completely sober.)

There’s a touch of heat. Not just in his cheeks from the mild annoyance of unfortunately proving Sanji right about him in a matter of seconds, but from the hold on his arm. Maybe it shouldn’t still him so thoroughly, outside of the obvious physical halting of his steps, and maybe he should ignore it and the jab that follows, take it for all it probably is…or – ]

If you want to, you can just say so.

[ – breaks from that hold and takes Sanji’s hand instead, before he can talk himself out of it. Lightly, no big deal, following the cook’s guidance and heading for the outdoor kitchen space without giving it a chance to be awkward. Overthought.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Luffy watching them from the group cuddled up on the swing seat, the grin always on his face stretching just a bit wider.

Zoro lets him go in order to snag the biggest bottle he can find, and two of the flamingo wine glasses, bringing them to the nearest daybed. Drinks, a comfy horizontal surface, and the newly simmering desire to kiss his partner again (and again, and maybe, probably, again) – sounds like a brilliant combination, doesn’t it? ]

[jambe]

[ To be perfectly honest, Sanji isn't sure what the hell his own strategy is. He knows that the whole point of the game is to find a good connection early on, to keep it and see if it stands the test of many, many attractive additions to the pool, but—

—truth be told, he's always been a bit of a loser in love. Maybe that's why he's here: to sort himself out.

(Later, in the edit, Brook chimes in for the voiceover. "There go the lovebirds, finally settling in for a bit of peace and quiet... hopefully? You can do it, Sanji!")

He's surprised when Zoro takes him up on his non-offer, when the guy shifts his grip down until they're lacing fingers and walking through the villa like they really are a proper couple. What he expects to feel is reluctance and embarrassment, the sort of self-consciousness that should be second nature when he's caught doing something intimate in front of a camera, but all he can actually focus on is how warm Zoro's palm is. How he can't manage a smartass reply (cue silence instead of the usual like hell), and how he misses it when Zoro replaces their handhold with a bottle of wine.

Fuck.

(Cut again to the edit, to a confessional taken after the fact: Sanji, sweeping his fingers through his long bangs, avoiding eye contact with the camera while his face turns red. "Yeah, I like where this is going, and no, I don't want to talk about it.")

They fall onto the bed, and Sanji stretches his legs. Being around all the tan, thick men of the villa makes him feel a little thin and pale in comparison, but he knows he has to work with what he's got. He gestures for Zoro to give him the glasses, to let him do the pouring. ] ...So. [ Stay cool, Sanji. ] ...What's swimming in that empty head of yours?

[ #sanjiNO #useyourwords #youreintohim ]

[go_north]

[ Zoro’s own surprise is off the charts, though he hides it well. Keeps it contained somewhere inside his chest when there’s no resistance, no argument, when he’s the one to drop the contact and when he finds himself wishing he didn’t have to.

…It bodes well, doesn’t it?

Ah, hell.

Sanji has got the legs and he is working them, if the catch of Zoro’s gaze on the length of those limbs as he settles next to him is any indication. His partner is goddamn gorgeous, there’s no doubt about it. There’s a good bit of Sanji that is his type, that draws him in – the strength of him, in both body and personality, the way he challenges him and pushes, something he’d inevitably end up bored, stagnant, without. Even the cigarette smoke that would usually turn him off – he likes the smell of him, when they’re lying close but untouching in the bed they’ve shared every night. It’d probably be simpler if there was nothing, there’d be no need to suss out just how straight the other man is or isn’t, but then he never expected this experience to be easy. Few important things in life are, anyway.

(“Careful not to spill!” Brook’s voiceover warns as Sanji pours their drinks. “Those beds are so expensive we had to cut back on other luxuries…like actual wine. You might be drinking grape juice!”)

Alright, Zoro, don’t rise to the bait now. ]

I’ve been thinking about the challenge today.

[ Yes, good, straight to the point, take your glass and just – ]

What was it like to lose? I’m not familiar with the feeling.

[ …okay, well.

At least his tone is laced with something playful rather than mean, just a tease. After all, the loss was unavoidable; with the way Nami filled out – or rather, nearly fell out of – her bikini, whether or not she was actually the fastest became irrelevant in the end. ]

[jambe]

[ They don't clink glasses as much as they try to knock each other's drinks out of their hands, but the sentiment is there: cheers. It's an olive branch of sorts, maybe, and the first sip softens Sanji's usually-violent reaction to one of Zoro's jabs. (First thing that all the men of the villa learned about Sanji: his legs aren't just for show.)

Instead of kicking his partner out of the bed, he snorts. ]

That just shows how much of a boorish shithead you are. I'd lose a thousand times if it means letting Nami win and seeing her perfect smile.

[ Put at least five hearts before and after 'Nami', and that's what the lilt in his voice sounds like. Once a simp, always a simp.

But... well. There's a certain enthusiasm lacking in the follow-up. Where he would usually take the opportunity to go off on a ten-minute tangent about his goddess, his orange-haired angel walking among the living, this time...

...he doesn't. Because he knows that that's not really what mattered most about today's stupid challenge, knows that he didn't even manage to look at Nami's near-accident because he was so busy clawing through sand and fishing Zoro out to—

—kiss him. Fuck, he really wants to kiss him. Time to press his mouth against his wineglass and stop himself from saying something stupid. ]

[go_north]

[ Ugh, god. What was attractive about this idiot again? He's forgotten that quickly.

(If only.)

He swallows down any derisive remark with wine, using the peace offering to silence himself, wisely. If he wants there to be any chance of future kissing, maybe he shouldn't purposefully piss him off too much. Well, at least...not right away. ]

If the next one is a couples challenge, you'll have to suck it up. Because we'll be beating her and the rest of them.

[ It isn't an assumption that they'll still be coupled up then; it isn't, because he can't assume it, not yet. (The inevitable victory, though, should they be together, yes. He's sure they'd be quite a force in any challenge.)

But there's definite hope. Perhaps an implication that he'd like it to be so. There, should his partner choose to hear it. ]

[jambe]

[ He's... looking for an argument, maybe. Anything that'll take his mind off of this budding attraction, anything that will prove himself wrong because... because why? Because it scares him? Because this is a show, and he doesn't want to look stupid once the next week rolls along and Zoro is sure to be taken by an hourglass figure and a pretty smile?

It's all a little ridiculous. His toes curl on the daybed's mattress, venting some small sliver of nervousness that he hates feeling, because he's usually not like this. Not around other men, not even around women.

Zoro is already sliding into that weird, alien territory of 'special', and the guy using the term we to refer to future challenges doesn't help. ]

...Depends on the damn challenge. [ Okay, fine. He won't insinuate that they won't be coupled together when the next one rolls around. Dancing around the 'we will still be together' thing, but matching the implication. ] What do you think they're going to think of next? Doing shitty couples' yoga positions and seeing how long we can hold the poses?

[ hate to break it to ya, Sanji...........................

A snort, but in good humor. He even demonstrates by pulling one leg up and over his head: if nothing else, he's extremely flexible. They've got that hypothetical challenge in the bag. ]

[go_north]

[ Sanji. Are you trying to break your partner? That's not allowed.

To Zoro's credit, he doesn't choke on his wine or outright ogle the man. (Though he's looking. Trust. He be lookin'.) The arch of his brow is admittedly impressed, the slight curve of his mouth too keen to match the shake of his head. A muttered - ] Showoff.

[ But hey, works for him. He tips his glass as if toasting that guaranteed triumph. ] Well, here's hoping.

[ "Here's hoping - for you," Brook's voiceover echoes, "and for all of us watching." ]

If it's the food relay - [ A time-honored Love Island tradition that fills both islanders and viewers with dread and icky stomachs. ] What do you think will win over - your hatred for wasting food and mine for losing, or...complete and utter disgust?

[jambe]

[ That leg settles gracefully back on white sheets, where it flexes triumphantly. Ha. He almost makes a corny pun at his own expense— "now that's what I call having a leg up on the competition"— but. You know what, he'll let Brook take care of that one.

His good mood is instantly spoiled by the mention of the food relay, though. To this day, he can't begin to imagine how drunk the showrunners must've been in the boardroom when they came up with this cursed challenge... Nose wrinkling, he takes a sip of alcohol to wash away the bitterness on his tongue. ]

If it's the food relay, we won't have a competition to start with. [ Because: ] You know Luffy's gonna eat everything before it can get passed along.

[ Honestly? Bless him. Luffy, the hero they don't deserve. Shut that shit down on sight, king... ]

[go_north]

[ "Ya know what would be really sexy? If the couples went mouth-to-mouth like mama and baby birds. Throw in lots of gagging and and threats to puke on each other. That's what gets me really hot and bothered!"

Zoro can't help the laugh that leaves him - genuine amusement, free of any trace of sarcasm or teasing even if he did basically bring the whole disgusting thing up just to bug the cook. It isn't a laugh he's shared often with Sanji, especially not alone (and the camera catches a quick, smiling glance between Usopp and Nami at the sound), but god. The idea of the Love Island producers' frustration when Luffy gobbles up enough food for six couples, before the rules are even read, is just too good.

(There's no way they could've prepared for the bottomless pit that is Luffy's stomach; they'll probably blow through the food budget by the season's halfway point.) ]

That's true. [ Thank fuck. It'd only further cement the growing fondness and appreciation developing for the boy, just after a handful of days. ]

Lucky for the rest of us. Something like that could put you off kissing in here. [ Never know when the mouth coming for yours might be filled with beans! ]

...Which would be a shame.

[ He could just mean for the others, of course. Not saying it'd be a shame if they didn't kiss again.

...

But he is saying that. ]

2 - he belongs to me (the. boy. is. miiine)

[go_north]

[ The new islanders' arrival into the villa was met with the expected burst of excitement jumbled with nerves, especially when both Marco and Perona received the text everyone was either dreading or waiting for - the one telling them to pick two people, each, for dates.

>> "And choose wisely, because tonight there will be a recoupling ceremony and you will have first pick. The person not chosen tonight will be dumped from the island. #mixitup #thinkhardgraftharder"

To say Zoro was unbothered by the disruption to the routine of the last couple days would be a lie, as much as he might've looked the part of calm and collected. Things were progressing between him and Sanji, on a physical level if nothing else (and Zoro can't exactly say there's nothing else, at least, where he's concerned). They spend the days sneaking kisses in quiet, tucked away corners, underwater in the pool, behind the open fridge door, as if everyone doesn't know everything already. (Zoro obliges, because the sneaking is part of the fun.) And they hold each other under the sheets every night, breathing each other in and savoring the warmth and the way they just seem to fit.

At this point, he has no desire to stop or change the direction they're going, even if the cook still tends to act like a simpering dumbass around the women - with Perona no exception. And Zoro does acknowledge that just because none of the other girls have shown interest (infinitely more Sanji's type on paper; that type being - boobs), it doesn't mean this one won't. Hell, there's every chance that either newcomer could. For all his annoying habits, the man is beautiful. So he prepares himself, just in case. It's early days and really, he would never begrudge the man a date in here, that'd be entirely unfair and it's the whole point, after all......but that doesn't mean he'd have to like it.

What he isn't prepared for is being picked himself.

He barely has time to leave Sanji with even a look before he and Perona are brought to the location - a garden with exclusively black and red flowers, decorative cobwebs (seriously, they may be singlehandedly keeping a Halloween store in business somewhere), and a tea set maybe a shade lighter than his date's pink hair. Tim Burton meets Barbie?

She spends most of the date talking, which is fine. She talks about what she does (a gothic lolita social media influencer - whatever that means) and what she wants in a partner (someone cute who will kill roaches for her). And when she asks him what he's looking for...well, he just tries to find a way to answer without saying he's been wondering if he's already found it in a chain smoking leggy cook. (Early fucking days!!)

(Back at the villa, Usopp has been watching Sanji scrub at the same spot on the kitchen island for just a bit longer than he probably needs to - "Oi, I, uh. Think that's clean now.")

[jambe]

[ Well, it's official. Recoupling fucking sucks.

Call it karma for him scoffing at Islanders from previous seasons for their post-recoupling meltdowns, for all his 'just fucking suck it up, look at the ego on this bastard'-type dismissals of spurned Islanders in the past. For all the casual judgment he'd passed on other contestants when he was in the comfort of his living room, he's having to repay it tenfold with his own emotional crisis.

Obviously, he'd tried to play it off. Marco aside (Ace snatched that opportunity up before anyone else could get a word in edgewise), Perona is lovely— a little on the eccentric side, yeah, but there's nothing more endearing than a cute girl who likes to surround herself with cute things. And really, maybe that's Zoro's type: the sort of sweetly bossy girl that he can spoil.

So, again. He plays it off. Hemms and haws about how he wasn't the one that Perona picked, how Zoro doesn't deserve the villa's new Sugarplum Fairy, et cetera, ad infinitum. A whole slew of complaints that have nothing to do with how he feels, which is.

Shitty. He feels like shit.

Venting done and left on his own (poor Usopp completely out of sight and out of mind despite being Right There), Sanji's taken to arranging and rearranging the items in their sparse kitchen. Keeping his hands busy, while he tries to think of anything but the possibility of Zoro kissing someone else, of that crooked-bright smile being directed towards someone else.

It's low of him, he knows. As if Perona doesn't deserve love and affection from everyone she meets??? Ugh. He scrubs at the kitchen island a little harder, as if he can scrape his own hypocrisy off of the marble.

"Oi, Sanji—", Usopp mumbles, and Sanji finally deigns to respond. Brows knit, a frown pulling the corner of his lips way, way down. ]

Kitchen's closed. [ Translation: I Do Not Want To Talk About It. Brook's voiceover: Whoa, tell us how you really feel, Sanji. This is going to be Sanji's fortress until Zoro comes back from the date, and even then—

—Sanji might not budge from this spot. Like, until morning. This is his castle, now. ]

[go_north]

[ True, the bossiness isn't half-bad. A little annoying, but he likes it in Sanji, after all. Likes being challenged. In the outside world, the sure way she came at him and told him that he was going on the date, rather than asking, might've gone over well with him. ...If his attention wasn't already spoken for.

Kuina always found it foolish, the islanders who were closed off to meeting new people in the first week. That decision to devote themselves left them too open to disappointment, got them sent home when their partners' heads were turned somewhere along the line. It was far too rare for a couple to come together in the beginning and stay that way until the end. You couldn't count on it.

Maybe a part of Zoro is, then, a fool. It's all entirely possible that the woman of Sanji's dreams could walk through the villa doors. What they have is hot, and it's fun, but that doesn't mean it's anything real, sustainable beyond the villa, not yet - maybe not ever, who knows. He has no reason or need to remain loyal...except for the plain but unshakable fact that he, simply, wants to.

Sure, Perona has something going for her; but Sanji, he's starting to think, has everything. There's no temptation here. No contest.

So when, their time alone drawing to a close, she broaches the subject of the recoupling, says to him, "If I was thinking about picking you tonight - " He doesn't beat around the bush. Doesn't bother with tact - he's never been that familiar with it, anyway. And he wants it to be clear. ]

I wouldn't recommend it.

[ Back at the villa, Usopp bravely (stupidly?) ignores the warning in his friend's tone, enough to maintain that, "Hey, you have nothing to worry about." And surely Sanji won't kill him just for telling the truth, not on TV, right?.......but he'll hurry along from that just in case!

"Me, I should be worried! Pretty sure she's gonna choose Nami as her second date and between you and me - " But, well, before he can get into the very interesting (but ultimately unfortunate for him) theory he has about Nami and her possible preference for the fairer sex, they can hear the tell-tale call of "I've got a text!" from over by the poolside. Should he start packing his bags now or wait until tonight??

At least this means Zoro is back, mercifully brought to the villa's entrance by producers or else he'd be wandering around the other half of the island most likely, feet leading him once he's inside to where he just knows Sanji will be. That castle of stainless steel, spices, and countertops that appear to be even more pristine than when he left. ]

[jambe]

[ Funny thing is, Sanji would agree with Kuina's opinion... if he were outside of these four walls and away from the pressure to find and keep someone for the duration of their season. It's not like he particularly wants to be the last one standing, but still—

—something in him knows chemistry when he feels it. Especially when it's another man in the equation, and not a woman. Accepting something warm and inviting from someone with soft curves has always been easy, but Zoro is far from it; there's nothing about the other man that's familiar or expected, and there's a certain measure of uncertainty in finding that attractive. Like he's betraying his own past by feeling hopeful for this new future.

So. He feels slightly badly for finding a bit of reprieve in Usopp's talking. It, at the very least, distracts him from his own thoughts— shifts his attention from his own slightly-dire situation to Usopp's, which is, to be fair, a point of concern for him too. Of all the people in the villa, it's been easiest to open up to the silver-tongued so-called liar of the bunch. (Ask Sanji, and he'd say that Usopp is the most reliable person he's met, both in and out of the show.)

By the time someone calls out about the text, and by the time Zoro's familiar outlines makes its way into the kitchen, Sanji is moderately more calm. At the very least, he's stopped scrubbing.

A beat passes where he doesn't say anything. His single visible eye flicks towards his coupling partner, then wanders away. ]

...So? How was it? [ Casually, as he starts sorting through his selection of pots and pans. As if cutlery is more interesting than Zoro. ] I bet Perona was as cute as she looks— a social media influencer, right? She's way too good for your caveman ass.

[ sanji please stop ]

[go_north]

[ That dig, entirely expected, gains nothing more than a brief, unimpressed look as Zoro comes to sit beside Usopp at the kitchen island. It doesn't even hit; maybe because he knew it was coming, maybe because the other man clearly doesn't have a problem with his "caveman ass" - or maybe he's unfazed because, at the moment, it just feels so right, coming straight back to Sanji. It confirms everything he's said on the date; this is where he wants to be. ]

We had tea with a bunch of creepy stuffed animals. [ He pulls a face at Usopp's snickering laughter. ] I wish I was joking.

[ She even said she plans on bringing the large teddy bear (he thinks that's what it is, anyway. or used to be) back to the villa with her - and that might've been the creepiest one!

But, hey, all in all - he shrugs one shoulder. ] She's a little weird, but she's alright.

[ Wow, that's high praise. Usopp may have wanted that to be sarcasm, for Sanji's sake, but. Where Zoro's concerned, that's actually...pretty true?? But he'd still staunchly maintain that there's no need for concern; after all, it's obvious from everything observed over the last few days that Zoro deems Sanji as much more than "alright".

No, his actual concern, as if summoned, joins the three of them for just a moment, just long enough to welcome Zoro back, to leave behind her lovely citrus scent with a flip of her orange hair, and to place a small kiss to Usopp's cheek. (He could lie to himself and say that it's meant to be reassurance. Just anything but a preliminary "BOY BYE", please.) She asks if he wants outfit approval for her date with Perona, and though he knows she will wear whatever the heck she wants regardless, he goes with her anyway.

Zoro watches them head inside before shifting to look back at the cook, chin propped in his hand. ] He might be in trouble tonight.

[ Zoro doesn't tend to talk about the other couples, to speculate about them like this when it isn't really his business. But he knows how fond his partner is of the long-nosed man, thinks a warning is fair enough, since he's confident that - ]

She won't be picking me.

[jambe]

[ 'Alright'. Maybe that's not a stellar assessment of his mad tea party with the cute new social influencer, but Sanji likes to think that he knows Zoro enough by now (again, what the fuck, they've only known each other for days—) to know that 'alright' is a pretty good endorsement.

Still, he's able to set aside the vague twist in his gut in favor of... the other twist in his gut, which is the possibility of Usopp leaving. Nami whisks past him, as cool and graceful as an ocean breeze, and as much as he knows that she's come to be more interested in Vivi than the well-intentioned artist and all his grandiose stories, he can't help but hope for the best.

He doesn't exactly say 'good luck' out loud, but he watches Usopp leave with a degree of concern touching at the corner of his mouth.

It's easier to worry about him than worry about himself. Because that's what he has to do now, with his elbows on the too-clean countertop, back at square one with Zoro (or so it feels). ]

—Don't presume to speak for the lovely lady. Who knows? She might be able to make a decent man out of you.

[ He reaches into his pocket for a cigarette and a lighter. His fingers feel a little numb; his thumb rolls across the sparkwheel once, twice, three times, but all it does is click and click without lighting.

Sanji clicks his tongue. ] Nothing's set in stone yet. There's no such thing as "I-won't"s and "she-won't"s here, grasshead.

[go_north]

[ This may be Love Island but friendships form here even faster, and just as deeply, as the lust and the romance, and Usopp is someone Zoro doesn't want to see leave either. And it's so early on - this is a bridge they'll have to cross again and again and again as long as they're here, the threat of being dumped from the island always lingering there below the dates and ridiculous challenges and the late night embraces. This is only the first time that threat has reared its head to remind them that this is how the game goes.

It's been the general assumption that Group A will be the ones picking at this official coupling ceremony, after the newcomers' initial dibs. But in a way, Sanji's right, nothing is set in stone. The alphabet could mean nothing here, and with coupling within the group being allowed, the label is, for the most part, ultimately inconsequential anyway. So maybe luck will be on both their sides. Maybe Perona will listen to him and not interfere, and maybe Usopp will be given the chance to choose a new partner.

Maybe.

He supposes it's true there is no absolute certainty until they're all sitting at that firepit. But look, he's stubborn. Let him have this confidence.

And let him have that lighter, too. (Under different circumstances, it could be endearing to watch the hands he's witnessed skillfully work their way around this kitchen falter, fumble. But he doesn't enjoy seeing the worry manifesting in his movements, his expression.) ]

I told her not to bother. [ He reaches across the counter, plucking the lighter from the cook's grasp, and flicks the flame to life for him. ] So if she does, she'll be wasting her time. I think she's smarter than that.

[ ...he fucking hopes. ]

[jambe]

[ It's first week jitters, probably. As much as some people believe aspects of the show to be staged, this, this is too real for comfort. You'd think that someone like Sanji, who lives in the chaos and forced adaptability of a busy restaurant, would excel under pressure—

—and he usually does. Just. Not around Zoro. It isn't that he doesn't have faith...

...it's that he's starting to, and the implications of that are difficult. The show is going to do everything to test them, and he knows it. ]

—Idiot, you actually said something like that to her?! What if you hurt her feelings, huh!?

[ Never mind that that's a good thing... for him, that is. Despite the verbal pushback, here's Sanji craning his neck over the counter to light the end of his cigarette with the flame that Zoro's holding out for him. Easy and fluid, as if he's been doing this for ages.

He blows smoke to the side, and reaches to take the lighter from his partner. For a few seconds, it almost seems like that's the end of it, that the only thing he's irritated about is that Zoro could be so "uncouth", but. Another long inhale, and he adds: ]

If she doesn't choose you [ HYPOTHETICALLY. ], what are you gonna say during the ceremony?

[ You know, the whole "I'm choosing to couple up with this person because..." thing. Trying to lighten the mood.

(Brook voice: "ooh, don't count your chickens before they hatch, Sanji! Remember, this is Love Island!") ]

[go_north]

I'm not gonna lie to spare her feelings.

[ Or anyone's. He isn't the type, and a frown, mild, touches his lips at the thought that Sanji might actually care more about Perona being potentially offended than - ... Well, whatever. He shakes it off. Watches the tip of the man's cigarette bloom red-orange with his assistance, easily intimate. ]

Anyway, she was fine.

[ A quick blink, maybe a flash of surprise. But then she'd laughed, a little - Oh, got it. You must really have something with Sanji, then?

That answer, while still truthful, had been a touch less direct. Unwilling to put words in the cook's mouth prematurely.

He went into that date prepared to speak plainly, not as some kind of dick, even if his partner may think otherwise, but enough that there was no room for misunderstanding. And all of it with a straight face.

Only now, at Sanji's question, does embarrassment creep up the back of his neck, the barest of blushes jumping to his cheeks. ]

What, you can't wait until tonight to hear the nice things I'll say about you? I guess it is a short list...but patience is a virtue, you know.

[ (Zoro! Brook's voice-over admonishes, if you're going to supply your own zingers then what am I even here for?? Eye candy??) ]

[jambe]

[ Funny thing is— Sanji actually believes Zoro when he says that Perona was fine. Zoro's not the sort to assume anything about anyone to just assuage his own feelings, after all.

Or so Sanji thinks. As infuriating as it is to admit that his scales are tipped in his partner's favor and not against it. Especially when the guy wears that nice shade of red. ]

It's only a short list because you're so dense that light bends around you.

[ The light being him, of course? The radiant cook with the 500-gigawatt smile. (An exaggeration that Patty and Carne always scoffs over: "you catch more flies with that lightbulb head of yours than actual women".) Sanji grins, wolfish around the sizzle of his cigarette, and drops ash over the countertop that he just polished.

It's easy to fall back into the shittalking routine. Comfortable. The anxiety becomes a faint hum instead of a steady roar; easy to ignore, as long as Zoro keeps fighting back. As long as they keep their mutual attention going. ]

Try not to choke. I can already see you stumbling all over your words.

[go_north]

I'll bend you around me.

[ Does the insult still work if it's turned into innuendo? ]

Oi, want me to talk about that? "I wanna couple up with this person because I've never met a bastard so ridiculously flexible."

[ He shows off that skill, like the other night in the daybed, in the challenges and the rough-housing sessions on the grass that honestly give Zoro more of a workout than the provided gym equipment. Something in him wants to test it out, see where the cook's limits lie, both physically and metaphorically. (And he's only human, he can't help but consider the possibilities in a body that can move like that.)

And yes, there is the light about the other man, as well; he isn't blind to that. Sanji's smile has admittedly threatened to overwhelm him on a rare occasion or two, when the whole villa gathers for a meal he's prepared. He's drawn to it, undeniably, the unchecked enjoyment rolling off of him in those moments, the smirking grins he's treated to - like now - so often, the energy and aura that beckons his own, makes him feel just a little bit brighter in return.

Makes him want to keep this going. ]

You just try and contain yourself, ok, cook? You can't cry in week one, it'll be embarrassing for you.

[jambe]

[ And, well— Sanji actually laughs, without pretension or wryness to slant the angle of his smile. ]

Who's the shallow one now, gymrat?

[ This, after all the times Zoro called him out on watching the women do their morning yoga poses??? How the tables turn. All of his previous tension seems to melt as Sanji chuckles to himself, sweeping ash from marble to a paper napkin, still keeping his hands busy even as he melts into the easy back-and-forth.

And maybe it's. A little nice, that Zoro's noticed. That he's not the only one that's been caught with his eyes lingering over Zoro's form when he benchpresses weights that seem impossible for two people, let alone one. Emotional attraction is one thing, but Love Island is all about that physical magnetism too, after all.

The guy probably could fold him in half, if he wanted to.

—Probably best not to think about that too hard. At least, not until after the recoupling.

(Famous last words.) ]

—Hurry up and go get changed. [ Long legs take him from his side of the counter to Zoro's, and his sandaled foot finds the other man's ankle. A light kick, to garnish the sentiment. ] If I have to share a screenshot on national television with you, you might as well look halfway presentable.

[ Never mind that Zoro takes maybe like, 5 minutes to get changed and he still looks better than the ones that take 45. Ugh. ]